Marriage, Divorce, and Marrying Again

INTRODUCTION

This is a most difficult subject. Divorce effects every home in America, either directly, or indirectly through other family members or friends. Children are adversely effected and confused.
This tract is not exhaustive on this subject. Because of our limited space, we will be dealing with general principles. Furthermore, this tract is not a treatise on American Jurisprudence. The author is not a lawyer or legal expert.
However, this tract will deal with what the Bible teaches on marriage, divorce, and marrying again. Today, nearly one out of every two homes have one partner who has experienced divorce.
Stress management experts tell us that the two most stressful experiences are: (1) death of a spouse; (2) divorce. Certainly then, this is a subject that needs compassion and tenderness. However, we cannot compromise biblical principles.
It is this author's fondest hope that this tract will do nothing but good, and no harm at all. Further, he hopes that your marriage is happy, satisfying, godly, and scriptural. May God richly bless you in this study.

--STEVE HALE--

MARRIAGE

God has ordained three great institutions: (1) the home; (2) civil government; (3) the church. The oldest of these is the home!
God saw that "...It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). From Adam, God took a rib, and from it, fashioned the woman. From that time to this, it has been God's will that: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
Becoming "one flesh" is a powerful, profound concept! It includes:
1. Sexual Fulfillment -- Sexuality is a gift from God. While it is true many abuse this gift, in the sanctity of marriage it is holy, wholesome, and expected!
Paul said that the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife. Further, the wife does not have power over her body but the husband. In fact, they should not withhold sexuality from one another except for mutual consent for a season (I Corinthians 7:1-5)!
2. Commitment -- Jesus said that marriage was for people mature enough to cut the apron strings: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Matthew 19:5; Genesis 2:24).
He is telling us that marriage demands a dynamic commitment! One must choose his or her spouse even over family! Thus, not only are these two lovers, they are also best friends! A marital partner is more than just a sex partner. This person literally becomes our life partner! Dating and courtship should be in view of this (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
3. Fidelity -- Being "one flesh" demands absolute loyalty: sexually and socially! Jesus said: "...What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" ( Matthew 19:6).
It is sinful for in-laws to meddle, and break-up a home! It is sinful for one of the marital partner to commit fornication (Matthew 19:9). The covenant (contract) married people make to each other and God demands loyalty. Breaching this covenant not only is intrinsic sin, but means such a person is untrustworthy to the original commitment made in the marriage.

DIVORCE

The very term divorce means to separate or divide. The Greek word chorizo, as used by the Corinthians meant only divorce. Among the Greeks, there was no such thing as legal separation. One was either married or divorced.
Few things displease God more than divorce: "For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel..." (Mal. 2:16). To the divorced Grecian brethren at Corinth, Paul's inspired advice was: "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11).
Divorce was a common occurrence in the first century world. It is almost as common in 20th century American society. Divorced people are hurting, as they have been through the second greatest stressful situation. There will be shock, recuperation, acceptance, and finally recovery. We Christians must be ready with love, sympathy, and reassurance to these wounded people.
We must also be ready to teach biblical truth on this controversial subject. There has been entirely too much compromise to truth on this Bible topic. Among churches of Christ, and religion in general, one can find someone that will teach what he wants to hear. Our loyalty is not to be to our religious friends or even brethren. Our loyalty must be to God, and biblical truth.
The Lord's teaching on divorce is found in Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18. These passages make it clear that divorce must not be a "trivial pursuit."
Once divorced, Paul told the Corinthians to "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11). Jesus echoes this sentiment. Measured against the Divine Ideal, divorce should not happen! Even though rather easy divorce was permitted under the Mosaic dispensation, this has never been the Divine Ideal ( Matthew 19:8).
Jesus said: "...whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This verse is simplified if one simply removes the except clause: "...whoever divorces his wife, and marries another commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This is exceedingly plain. This would completely line-up with what Paul said: "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11). Jesus said, with only one exception, that a divorced person marrying another commits adultery.
This one exception is "immorality." This term means overt sexual infidelity. It would include homosexuality, lesbianism, heterosexual infidelity, and bestiality. If one is married to someone guilty of any of these, then he or she may divorce the guilty party.

MARRYING AGAIN

For people that have divorced, the general divine advice is "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled... (I Corinthians 7:11). It is wonderful to see a divorced couple reconciled through counseling, maturity, and a better understanding of commitment.
Jesus warned that divorcing one's spouse and remarrying causes one to commit adultery. Actually, it causes two (including the non-qualifying person's spouse). The Scriptures teach that two kinds of married people may marry again.
First, those who have divorced because of "immorality," or "fornication." Jesus gives this as the one exception (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:9).
It is very difficult to get "adultery" written on divorce papers in American courts. Most commonly, divorce is granted on "irreconcilable differences." Yet, God knows the truth about these matters.
When studying with divorced people about this subject, there is an obligation to teach the truth. However, the people taught must make the application. Usually, only they and the Lord know first hand what happened.
In other words, if sexual immorality was a contributing factor to the divorce (by the guilty party), then that divorce is Scriptural. Each case must be taken individually, and worked through very carefully. We must pray for wisdom (James 1:5) that His truths are applied correctly in each case.
Second, those who have had their spouses to pass away may remarry (Romans 7:1-4). Remarriage should always consider the Lord's will (I Corinthians 7:39-40). For divorcees, widows, widowers, and never marrieds, the divine ideal is to marry a faithful Christian!

CONCLUSION

This author does not claim to have all the answers. However, the LORD does have them, and has revealed what we need in His word (John 16:13, 14; I John 5:13).
We must have enough faith in God to believe God. He knows what is best for our lives (II Timothy 3:16, 17). Even when it come to marriage, divorce, and marrying again!

Order Additional Tracts From:
Mt. Juliet Church of Christ
P.O. Box #248
Mt. Juliet, TN 37122
Phone: (615) 758-2274

May 20, 1992

Related Articles:

Veto Power -Nov 06, 1996
Beware of the Foolish Forties! -Dec 03, 1995
So You Want to Get Married -Sep 05, 1993
Male Manipulation -Dec 01, 1991
The Devil's Device of Divorce -Nov 17, 1991

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Discuss this Article

Back to the Sermon Page



Marriage, Divorce, and Marrying Again by Steve Hale INTRODUCTION This is a most difficult subject. Divorce effects every home in America, either directly, or indirectly through other family members or friends. Children are adversely effected and confused. This tract is not exhaustive on this subject. Because of our limited space, we will be dealing with general principles. Furthermore, this tract is not a treatise on American Jurisprudence. The author is not a lawyer or legal expert. However, this tract will deal with what the Bible teaches on marriage, divorce, and marrying again. Today, nearly one out of every two homes have one partner who has experienced divorce. Stress management experts tell us that the two most stressful experiences are: (1) death of a spouse; (2) divorce. Certainly then, this is a subject that needs compassion and tenderness. However, we cannot compromise biblical principles. It is this author's fondest hope that this tract will do nothing but good, and no harm at all. Further, he hopes that your marriage is happy, satisfying, godly, and scriptural. May God richly bless you in this study. --STEVE HALE-- MARRIAGE God has ordained three great institutions: (1) the home; (2) civil government; (3) the church. The oldest of these is the home! God saw that "...It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). From Adam, God took a rib, and from it, fashioned the woman. From that time to this, it has been God's will that: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Becoming "one flesh" is a powerful, profound concept! It includes: 1. Sexual Fulfillment -- Sexuality is a gift from God. While it is true many abuse this gift, in the sanctity of marriage it is holy, wholesome, and expected! Paul said that the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife. Further, the wife does not have power over her body but the husband. In fact, they should not withhold sexuality from one another except for mutual consent for a season (I Corinthians 7:1-5)! 2. Commitment -- Jesus said that marriage was for people mature enough to cut the apron strings: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Matthew 19:5; Genesis 2:24). He is telling us that marriage demands a dynamic commitment! One must choose his or her spouse even over family! Thus, not only are these two lovers, they are also best friends! A marital partner is more than just a sex partner. This person literally becomes our life partner! Dating and courtship should be in view of this (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). 3. Fidelity -- Being "one flesh" demands absolute loyalty: sexually and socially! Jesus said: "...What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" ( Matthew 19:6). It is sinful for in-laws to meddle, and break-up a home! It is sinful for one of the marital partner to commit fornication (Matthew 19:9). The covenant (contract) married people make to each other and God demands loyalty. Breaching this covenant not only is intrinsic sin, but means such a person is untrustworthy to the original commitment made in the marriage. DIVORCE The very term divorce means to separate or divide. The Greek word chorizo, as used by the Corinthians meant only divorce. Among the Greeks, there was no such thing as legal separation. One was either married or divorced. Few things displease God more than divorce: "For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel..." (Mal. 2:16). To the divorced Grecian brethren at Corinth, Paul's inspired advice was: "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11). Divorce was a common occurrence in the first century world. It is almost as common in 20th century American society. Divorced people are hurting, as they have been through the second greatest stressful situation. There will be shock, recuperation, acceptance, and finally recovery. We Christians must be ready with love, sympathy, and reassurance to these wounded people. We must also be ready to teach biblical truth on this controversial subject. There has been entirely too much compromise to truth on this Bible topic. Among churches of Christ, and religion in general, one can find someone that will teach what he wants to hear. Our loyalty is not to be to our religious friends or even brethren. Our loyalty must be to God, and biblical truth. The Lord's teaching on divorce is found in Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18. These passages make it clear that divorce must not be a "trivial pursuit." Once divorced, Paul told the Corinthians to "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11). Jesus echoes this sentiment. Measured against the Divine Ideal, divorce should not happen! Even though rather easy divorce was permitted under the Mosaic dispensation, this has never been the Divine Ideal ( Matthew 19:8). Jesus said: "...whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This verse is simplified if one simply removes the except clause: "...whoever divorces his wife, and marries another commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This is exceedingly plain. This would completely line-up with what Paul said: "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled..." (I Corinthians 7:11). Jesus said, with only one exception, that a divorced person marrying another commits adultery. This one exception is "immorality." This term means overt sexual infidelity. It would include homosexuality, lesbianism, heterosexual infidelity, and bestiality. If one is married to someone guilty of any of these, then he or she may divorce the guilty party. MARRYING AGAIN For people that have divorced, the general divine advice is "...remain unmarried, or else be reconciled... (I Corinthians 7:11). It is wonderful to see a divorced couple reconciled through counseling, maturity, and a better understanding of commitment. Jesus warned that divorcing one's spouse and remarrying causes one to commit adultery. Actually, it causes two (including the non-qualifying person's spouse). The Scriptures teach that two kinds of married people may marry again. First, those who have divorced because of "immorality," or "fornication." Jesus gives this as the one exception (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:9). It is very difficult to get "adultery" written on divorce papers in American courts. Most commonly, divorce is granted on "irreconcilable differences." Yet, God knows the truth about these matters. When studying with divorced people about this subject, there is an obligation to teach the truth. However, the people taught must make the application. Usually, only they and the Lord know first hand what happened. In other words, if sexual immorality was a contributing factor to the divorce (by the guilty party), then that divorce is Scriptural. Each case must be taken individually, and worked through very carefully. We must pray for wisdom (James 1:5) that His truths are applied correctly in each case. Second, those who have had their spouses to pass away may remarry (Romans 7:1-4). Remarriage should always consider the Lord's will (I Corinthians 7:39-40). For divorcees, widows, widowers, and never marrieds, the divine ideal is to marry a faithful Christian! CONCLUSION This author does not claim to have all the answers. However, the LORD does have them, and has revealed what we need in His word (John 16:13, 14; I John 5:13). We must have enough faith in God to believe God. He knows what is best for our lives (II Timothy 3:16, 17). Even when it come to marriage, divorce, and marrying again! Order Additional Tracts From: Mt. Juliet Church of Christ P.O. Box #248 Mt. Juliet, TN 37122 Phone: (615) 758-2274 May 20, 1992 Related Articles: Veto Power -Nov 06, 1996 Beware of the Foolish Forties! -Dec 03, 1995 So You Want to Get Married -Sep 05, 1993 Male Manipulation -Dec 01, 1991 The Devil's Device of Divorce -Nov 17, 1991 Print this Article Discuss this Article Back to the Sermon Page	Mt. Juliet Church of Christ 1940 N. Mt. Juliet Road P.O.Box 248 Mt.Juliet, TN 37122-0248 (615)758-2274 Fax:615-754-2351 Email Worship Services: Sunday Early Worship: 8AM Sunday Bible Study: 9:15AM Sunday Late Worship: 10:15AM Night Worship: 6PM Wednesday Bible Study: 7PM