by Steve Hale
"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" ( Ephesians 6:4).
The most bashed people in modem American society are men. Radical
feminists claim they do not need men...period!
Too many men are not taking responsibility. Single mothers are too often the result of some philandering man leaving for his next conquest. Teenage pregnancy is rampant, and sexual promiscuity is so common that a virgin is the exception rather than the rule. 72% of high school seniors have been sexually active before graduation!
The answer to this is not abortion, welfare, or contraceptives. The answer is individual responsibility as taught in the Bible!
This responsibility must be taught at home, and should begin with...fathers! Isn't it interesting that Paul said "fathers" in this text? Why?
First, fathers are to be role models. Children are great imitators: they become like the people they admire. Hence, father, "do not provoke your children to wrath." This comes by being unjust and unfair. It also comes by the philosophy, "don't do as I do, but do as I say."
If you don't want your children to drink, don't drink. If you don't want them to try drugs, then don't you moke pot or drink. If you don't want them to curse, don't you curse. If you want them to be honest and decent and good, then you be honest, decent, and good. If you want them to read the Bible, then r�tl read the Bible. If you want them involved in the church, then you be involved in the church!
Second, "...bring them up in the training..." of Christ. Isn't it profound that Paul doesn't say this of the youth worker or deacon, but of fathers! More than at Bible School, public or private school, church services, or with a youth group, children learn their values from parental leadership (or the lack of it).
Fathers, talk to your sons and daughters about everyday Christian living! Read with them and to them the book of James, Ecclesiastes, etc. Psychologists almost universally agree that 80% of a child's values are established by the age of 5! In this mixed-up world, reinforcement will be needed through adolescence, the teenage years, and on into adulthood.
Third, "...bring them up in the...admonition of the Lord." The term for "admonition" here is the word nouthesia. This word has the force of putting something in mind. While it warns, it "puts in mind" the things of the Lord. Fathers must do this, at work, at play, at daytime, at mealtime, and at bedtime ( Deuteronomy 6:1-7).
Be God's man, and assume the parental leadership God intended! Do not expect schools, friends, society, or even the church to do an adequate job. None of these are mentioned in this text. Want to know what your children will be like when they grow-up? Just look in the mirror!
The above article appeared in the Mt. Juliet Messenger on August 25, 1996.
by Steve Hale
"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars" ( 2 Chronicles 16:9, NASV).
Asa, the third king of Judah, was not blessed with godly parents. In fact, his grandmother, Maacah, set-up fearful and impure images. Asa rose above this, drove out the Sodomites and destroyed the idols ( 1 Kings 15:12). He commanded Judah to seek the LORD of their fathers ( 2 Chronicles 14:4).
Asa's faith flinched and his attitude wavered, though, when he sought to break Baasha's league with Benhadad by bribing the Syrian king. His confidence should not have been in bribery, but in the Lord. The LORD is king throughout the earth for hearts that are completely His. When He finds them, He strongly supports them.
Asa was remarkable in that he accomplished much good in spite of terrible parenting. He was a transitional person. A transitional person is someone who puts an end to a terrible cycle of sin. Research tells us that often (of course, not always), incest begets incest, alcoholism begets alcoholism, drugs beget drugs, and so on.
A transitional parent is someone who breaks such a cycle. Paul ,said: "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised. up against the knowledge of God and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" ( 2 Corinthians 10:5). Transitional parents overcome their past and upbringing by this means. The gospel liberates them so they are no longer slaves to sin, but slaves of Christ ( Romans 6:19-18).
David McClelland, a Harvard researcher, in a 25 year study at Harvard University, said: "You can change motivation and improve performance by changing the way you...think." This is nothing new as Solomon said the same thing long ago: "For as he thinks within himself, so he is" ( Proverbs 23:7a).
Parents must be that instrument through which our world is changed for the better. We become such an instrument when we become transitional parents.
The ultimate transitional person was (and is), of course, Jesus Christ. "Wherefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things are passed away, behold, they are become new" ( 2 Corinthians 5:17). Paul adds in inthians verse 21: "He gave Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might be made the righteousness of God through Him" ( 2 Corinthians 5:21).
In taking away our sins by His death on the cross, and accessing this forgiveness by dying with Him by means of baptism ( Romans 6:3-7), we come to know the , ultimate transitional person ( Isaiah 53:10-12). By the power of the gospel ( Romans 1:16-17), let us become transitional parents and people!
Our society's fabric has become unwoven because of the dismantling of the family. It will take transltlon, all parents to stop the VICIOUS cycles of dysfunction. Many!
The above article appeared in the Mt. Juliet Messenger on September 1, 1996.
by Steve Hale
"My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD, or loathe his reproof. For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights" ( Proverbs 3:11-12, NASV).
Like Andy and Opie on the old Andy Griffith Show, my Dad used to take me around in his squad car. One particular day, he transported a prisoner from the Overton County Jail to the Putnam County Jail, then took me to the dentist in Cookeville.
The prisoner was a seasoned, salty fellow, with expletives flowing from his mouth like water. This chubby, red-headed, bucktoothed boy caught his attention in the front seat. My Dad was telling him the rules of transport, and if he followed them, they'd get along fine.
Handcuffed, taltooed, and raw in appearance, he started telling me, with colorful metaphors, about his life. He grew up in a broken home, withhis father leaving the home. His mother was a neglectful alcoholic, with different men revolving in and out of their home.
With his mother's apathy, and his father's neglect, he was left largely to himslf said had his father been around to correct him, or had his mother taken an interest in him, he might not be as he was that moment. In his own way, he was telling me to be thankful that I had a father that took an interest in me.
Young people, praise the Lord when you have parents who love you enough to correct you when you go wrong. Solomon said: "The rod and reproof give wisdom. But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother" ( Proverbs 29:15).
This correction = affection! The Lord loved the church at Laodicea, but sternly rebuked them. They Were lukewarm, indifferent, and apathetic. He plainly speaks to their spiritual deficiencies ( Revelation 3:14-18). Why? "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore and repent" ( Revelation 3:19).
Paul tells Titus that the older women are to teach the younger women: "...to love their husbands, to love their children" ( Titus 2:4). This love necessitates discipline.
Correction is never to be abusive, but is that discipline which is born out of love. Unless this occurs in the early, manageable years of a child's life, he will become a handful! "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him" ( Proverbs 22:15). Our children need parental discipline!