True Transparency

by Steve Hale

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" (Ex. 20:16, NKJV). A window lets light shine through and allows us to see what might otherwise be hidden. Similarly, Christians should be transparent as to truth.

In order to deeply love, we must deeply know. This is especially true in the deepest of human relationships: marriage!

Dr. David Mace, past president of the American Association of Marriage and Family Counselors writes:

"There may be a few rare situations in which husband and wife may legitimately withhold the truth from one another; but it is my view that this inevitably involves a misfortune. To have to censor your communication to your marriage partner and close off a portion of your thoughts that cannot be shared is fatal to the achievement of relationship-in-depth" ("Marriage As Relationship In Depth," Marital Therapy, ed. H.L. Silverman (Springfield: Charles C. Thomas, 1972), p. 163).

Transparency is also vital for healthy friendships and other relationships. It's hard to love someone who is a phony! Paul said: "Let love be without hypocrisy, Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good" ( Romans 12:9). Christian relationships must be genuine, transparent, and true. Jude warned that we should be leery of those that "...mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage" ( Jude 16).

We commonly build walls around us that do not let others inside. These walls insure privacy, but have the horrible side effect of isolation. God did not create us to be isolated, but to be together. He designed man to be married ( Genesis 2:18), and the church to be a one another people ( John 13:33-35). In both cases, these walls must be substantially torn down so relationships can be built-up! What are these walls that replace the needed transparent windows?

Wall 1: Sin -- Sometimes, we don't want people looking inside of us because of sin. Sin hardens the heart ( Hebrews 3:13), and causes us to withdraw from fellow Christians and even our spouses. Sin must be removed, or it will destroy not only needed relationships, but our souls ( James 1:14-16).

Wall 2: Embarrassment -- Sometimes, things have happened to us that embarrass us. Maybe we have sinned, repented and confessed, and yet the residue (consequence) is so embarrassing, we seek to be isolated.

Everyone has a skeleton in their past ( 1 Kings 8:46; Romans 3:23). If it has been forgiven, right thinking Christians will lay it aside! If there are other circumstances, such as money problems, physical handicaps, or weight problems, you are being victimized by pseudo-guilt. True guilt is as a result of sin, while pseudo-guilt is as result of low self-esteem or co-dependency.

These are just two of many walls people erect. They need to be removed so you can enjoy what created you to enjoy: a dynamic family life and a dynamic Christian life! It takes great faith to make these walls come tumbling down!

September 20, 1998

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True Transparency by Steve Hale "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" (Ex. 20:16, NKJV). A window lets light shine through and allows us to see what might otherwise be hidden. Similarly, Christians should be transparent as to truth. In order to deeply love, we must deeply know. This is especially true in the deepest of human relationships: marriage! Dr. David Mace, past president of the American Association of Marriage and Family Counselors writes: "There may be a few rare situations in which husband and wife may legitimately withhold the truth from one another; but it is my view that this inevitably involves a misfortune. To have to censor your communication to your marriage partner and close off a portion of your thoughts that cannot be shared is fatal to the achievement of relationship-in-depth" ("Marriage As Relationship In Depth," Marital Therapy, ed. H.L. Silverman (Springfield: Charles C. Thomas, 1972), p. 163). Transparency is also vital for healthy friendships and other relationships. It's hard to love someone who is a phony! Paul said: "Let love be without hypocrisy, Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good" ( Romans 12:9). Christian relationships must be genuine, transparent, and true. Jude warned that we should be leery of those that "...mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage" ( Jude 16). We commonly build walls around us that do not let others inside. These walls insure privacy, but have the horrible side effect of isolation. God did not create us to be isolated, but to be together. He designed man to be married ( Genesis 2:18), and the church to be a one another people ( John 13:33-35). In both cases, these walls must be substantially torn down so relationships can be built-up! What are these walls that replace the needed transparent windows? Wall 1: Sin -- Sometimes, we don't want people looking inside of us because of sin. Sin hardens the heart ( Hebrews 3:13), and causes us to withdraw from fellow Christians and even our spouses. Sin must be removed, or it will destroy not only needed relationships, but our souls ( James 1:14-16). Wall 2: Embarrassment -- Sometimes, things have happened to us that embarrass us. Maybe we have sinned, repented and confessed, and yet the residue (consequence) is so embarrassing, we seek to be isolated. Everyone has a skeleton in their past ( 1 Kings 8:46; Romans 3:23). If it has been forgiven, right thinking Christians will lay it aside! If there are other circumstances, such as money problems, physical handicaps, or weight problems, you are being victimized by pseudo-guilt. True guilt is as a result of sin, while pseudo-guilt is as result of low self-esteem or co-dependency. These are just two of many walls people erect. They need to be removed so you can enjoy what created you to enjoy: a dynamic family life and a dynamic Christian life! It takes great faith to make these walls come tumbling down! September 20, 1998 Related Articles: Print this Article Discuss this Article Back to the Sermon Page	Mt. Juliet Church of Christ 1940 N. Mt. Juliet Road P.O.Box 248 Mt.Juliet, TN 37122-0248 (615)758-2274 Fax:615-754-2351 Email Worship Services: Sunday Early Worship: 8AM Sunday Bible Study: 9:15AM Sunday Late Worship: 10:15AM Night Worship: 6PM Wednesday Bible Study: 7PM