by Bud Lambert
The apostles of Christ followed a relationship rule that allowed them to live a joyous life as they related to the imperfect people of their day: Obey God Rather Than Men!
In Acts 5 the Jewish leaders arrested the apostles, put them in prison, and commanded them not to preach in the name of Jesus. Peter and the other apostles boldly responded, "We ought to obey God rather than men. ( Acts 5:29). The Jewish council decided to release the apostles, but not before they had beaten them and warned them again not to preach Jesus ( Acts 5:40). "And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. ( Acts 5:41). Notice, even though they weren't pleasing their peers and making them happy, the apostles were able to rejoice in this imperfect relationship because they knew they were pleasing God. Happy Christians follow the relationship rule, Obey God Rather Than Men.
A popular, but destructive relationship rule in our American society is "Good people always try to make others happy." This ungodly rule has crept into the church, been accepted as gospel, and is resulting in numerous dysfunctional interactional patterns. Elders are giving up their God-given authority and are letting the flock lead them. Preachers are preaching tradition and/or biopsychosocial theory as a substitute for the meat of the gospel. Elders, deacons, preachers, and Bible class teachers are neglecting their own needs and the needs of their families and are experiencing burnout. Husbands and wives are neglecting each other, and families are being destroyed. Children are unable to separate from parents and establish their own family systems. Parents are giving up their power to parent, and, as a result, children are becoming more and more undisciplied and immature (socially, emptionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually). And the list could go on.
Nowhere in the Bible does God tell His people to always seek to please others. He does command us to always put Him first and to always seek to please Him (i.e. Matthew 6:24,33; Ecclesiastes 12:13; etc., etc.). Sometimes doing what is right and pleasing to God is not going to make others happy.